LARGER THAN MOST LIVES

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s New Book Recounts How He Confessed Love Child With Maid

By Elizabeth C.

THE SPERMINATOR IS BACK, this time telling his “unbelievably true life story” in an autobiography that hits the stores Oct. 1.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall, recounts his near-mythic transformation from abused Austrian schoolboy to world champion bodybuilder, Hollywood superstar and governor of the U.S.’s most populous state. And he comes clean on how he admitted to fathering a child with the family maid — and began secretly supporting both while still governor of California.

A CHEST LIKE A ‘FADE GONE WRONG’

Would You Watch A Kanye Sex Tape?

By Elizabeth C.

THINK OF THE MEMES IT WILL GENERATE! The web’s atwitter over two alleged sex tapes showing Kanye West doing the nasty with a Kim look-alike. TMZ assures us that tapes show him in “constant action. Seriously, the guy takes no breaks. It’s incredible. Almost Sting-like.”

While Radar and AllHipHop.com published screen shots showing a topless Yeezy looking straight into the camera, the actual videos themselves have yet to hit the market. And West’s attorneys want to keep it that way.

I CAN SEE CLEARLY

Belgian “Clairvoyant” Blows Strangers’ Minds With Scary Truth

By Elizabeth C.

THE BELGIAN FEDERATION OF THE FINANCIAL SECTOR JUST DID THEIR CUSTOMERS — AND MAYBE THE WORLD? -A FAVOR.

The lobbying arm of 238 member banks released the above commercial which shows Belgians volunteering to meet with a “mindreader” for an upcoming reality show.

What the volunteers didn’t know was that computer hackers just a few steps away were digging up dirt on the unsuspecting individuals.

The big reveal?

BRAVO CONSPIRED SET-UP?

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Finale: Real & Contrived Poison

By Karen Malmquist

“LET’S GO TO THE POSCHE fashion show,” they said. “It’ll be fun”, they said. When will we learn our lesson never to step foot inside a “Kim” produced event?

Sunday’s season finale of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” had the ladies hugging and kissing and feeding each other cannolis all night. Not. Rather, it was more like watching a cannolis factory explode: a tragic display of delicious but nutritionally empty junk food.

OUR COLLECTIVE SOUL

Here’s The Five Most “Liked” Music Videos, Including New Champ, Gangnam Style

By Elizabeth C.

YOU LIKE HIM! YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKE HIM!

K-Pop artist Psy whose kinetic Gangnam Style video has invaded pop culture a staggering pace has just become the world’s “most liked” music video on YouTube, toppling LMFAO from the perch, according to Guinness Records.

TRUE TO LIFETIME

Here’s The First Trailer For Lindsay Lohan’s Liz & Dick

By Elizabeth C.

ONCE UPON A TIME, LINDSAY LOHAN WAS A GIFTED CHILD STAR ABLE TO CONVINCINGLY LOSE HERSELF IN THE CHARACTER. Sadly, the little girl who could has morphed into a duck-lipped starlet all too aware of her public persona and whose actual life has turned into a cheesy Lifetime movie.

Exhibit A: the new trailer for her upcoming Elizabeth Taylor-Richard Taylor romance biopic.

THE HUNTER IS HUNTED

Who Titillated World With Topless Snaps Of Kate?

By Elizabeth C.

THE PHOTOGRAPHER WHO SNAPPED PRINCESS KATE TOPLESS was a working stiff on assignment for the French magazine Closer and made scant money off his “get.”

In an interview with France Metro, a French photographer named Pascal Rostain claims that the shooter who titillated the world with snaps of Kate sunning toplesss was not a paparazzo but a British Closer freelancer who lives in Southern France.

THE MYSTERY THAT WON’T DIE

Mystery Of Natalie Wood’s Drowning Still Sells & Compels

By Elizabeth C.

NEARLY 31 YEARS AFTER THE GLAMOROUS STAR NATALIE WOOD DROWNED IN THE WATERS OFF CALIFORNIA’s Catalina Island, the mystery surrounding her death still sells and compels.

48 Hours Mystery revisited Wood’s drowning this week in collaboration with Vanity Fair.

SEXY INDEED

Psy Brings Down Ellen’s House With Live Performance Of Gangnam Style

By Elizabeth C.

THE FEVER FOR K-POP STAR PSY’S Gangnam Style BLEW THE LID OFF Ellen DeGeneres’ television studio today.

Just a week after the Korean sensation first appeared on the talk show to give Britney Spears a quick lesson in his signature galloping dance, Psy returned today to deliver a pulse-racing live performance.

MUTUAL ADMIRATION

Tony Danza Was Tupac’s Prison Pen Pal

By Elizabeth C.

TONY DANZA JUST MADE A POWER MOVE TOWARD STREET CRED: The Taxi actor and education advocate revealed to Access Hollywood that he correspondended with Tupac while the legendary rapper was in prison.