HATERADE IS SPILLIN’

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Who You Calling A Whore?

By Karen Malmquist

ON THURSDAY, BLACK BABYGATE WAS FINALLY PUT TO REST, THE HUSBANDS GET THEIR CHANCE TO TALK, AND Marlo and Kim argue about the holes between their legs.

LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH

The Pauly D Project: “Dope” Date

By Karen Malmquist

THURSDAY’S Pauly D Project may not be for the faint of heart, unless you enjoy watching grown men get the hair yanked out of their faces in testosterone-dosed remake of the make-over scene in The Princess Diaries. Allow me to explain:

NO SYMPATHY FOR THE LADIES

Credit: Andrea Klarin

Christian Louboutin Reveals Sadistic Streak, Calls Heels “Pleasure With Pain”

By Linda Seccaspina

“HIGH HEELS ARE “PLEASURE WITH PAIN,” SHOE DESIGNER CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN tells Grazia magazine in an interview picked up by the Telegraph. “I really have not so much sympathy,” he says. “If Tina Turner and Prince’s back-up band can perform on stage in them for three hours, you can’t tell me they are impossible to walk in.

STEAMY FUN

Magic Mike Trailer Is A Naughty Fantasy Come True

By Linda Seccaspina

I‘M NOT REALLY INTO MALE STRIPPERS BUT THE MAGIC MIKE TRAILER, starring Channing Tatum and directed by Steve Soderberg, could make me work up a sweat.

PERPETUAL MYSTERY

New Book Asserts CIA Killed JFK Mistress

By Elizabeth C.

DID AUTHOR PETER JANNEY DRINK SOME ELECTRIC KOOL-AID ACID PUNCH?

In his new book, Janney makes the far-out assertion that President John F. Kennedy Jr. was killed by the CIA because mind-expanding acid trips made him question America’s military industrial machine.

Janney makes his argument in Mary’s Mosaic: The CIA Conspiracy to Murder John F. Kennedy, Mary Pinchot Meyer, and Their Vision of World Peace,” which Huffington Post calls “entertaining trip through the dark possibilities of Washington’s covert history.”

THE LUCKY UNBORN

Pugilist Mike Tyson Reveals He Knocked Up Jail Official

By Elizabeth C.

MIKE TYSON’S ALL ABOUT THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH THESE DAYS, AND THAT INCLUDES SHARING THAT HE knocked up a prison official while spending three years in prison on rape charges.

HELLO, GOODBYE

Who’s In, Who’s Out, On Real Housewives Of Atlanta

By Linda Seccaspina

REAL HOUSEWIFE KIM ZOLCIAK TODAY DENIED REPORTS THAT SHE’S BEEN CANNED FROM Real Housewives Of Atlanta.

“I will be returning to RHOA sooo don’t believe the BS!!” Kim tweeted to her 384,000 Twitter followers.

THE HUNGER GAMES

Feeding Tubes Latest Fad For Desperate Dieting Brides-To-Be

By Linda Seccaspina & Elizabeth C.

DESPERATE TO LOOK STORYBOOK BEAUTIFUL FOR THEIR WEDDINGS, BRIDES-TO-BE are seeking out a radical new “feeding tube” diet to lose weight. But criticis call the practice “outrageous.”

With the K-E Diet, a feeding tube forced through the nose and into the stomach delivers a constant flow of protein-laced water totaling 800 calories a day. The tubal feeding extends for 10 days during which patients can lose up to 20 pounds.

STRANGER THAN FICTION

Is Mel Gibson Criminally Insane? Joe Eszterhas Suggests Yes

By Elizabeth C.

MEL GIBSON’S DESCENT INTO MADNESS IS WORTHY OF ITS OWN HOLLYWOOD PRODUCED HORROR STORY.

Writer Joe Eszterhas has upped the ante in his dangerous game against the Academy-winning director by releasing audio of Gibson rampaging through his Costa Rica estate. The frightening fit was recorded by Eszterhas’ teenage son who was vacationing with his parents, and the writer released it after Gibson claimed Esterhas’ accusations detailed in a leaked nine-page letter as “utter fabrications.”

THE AUDACITY OF BUGS

Real Housewives Of Orange County: Does A Bear Slink In The Woods?

By Trisha B.

TONIGHT, WE GO GLAMPING!

But first, we visit a recovering Tamra’s modest little house with Vicki. She doesn’t bring a gift because she says she was at work and just decided to drop by to tell her how small her boobs are now. Vicki tells us she just doesn’t understand why anyone in Orange County would want itty bitty titties while Tamra lets us know that she thinks Vicki’s just jealous.