HOOD INSPIRED

Vogue Italia’s ‘Haute Mess’ : Racist Or Ghetto Fab?

By Linda Seccaspina

HUFFINGTON POST DECLARES VOGUE ITALIA‘S MARCH FASHION SPREAD “HOOD COUTURE,” but is it racist or just “ghetto fab”?

STFU

Lady Gabs Needs To Zip It Now

By Linda Seccaspina

SO LADY GAGA TOLD TV’s CHIEF TALKER THAT SHE’S GOING AWAY, AND THAT she won’t do another personal interview for a long time.

Thank God.

STINGY

Hey Tiger, Can You Spare A Popsicle?

By Elizabeth C.

WHAT’S A POPSICLE WORTH? Fifty cents? A dollar? Five dollars if it’s gourmet? If you’re Tiger Woods, whatever the cost it’s too much to share with a colleague.

Tiger’s former swing coach Hank Haney has a new book coming out entitled The Big Miss -in which he shares stories about golf’s fallen legend.

WHACK

Johnny Depp’s Barnabus Collins Is The New ‘Bat Boy’

By Linda Seccaspina

TIM BURTON AND JOHNNY DEPP team up once again for an offbeat spoof of the old 60’s cult soap opera, Dark Shadows.

The daytime soap about an accursed vampire haunting his beloved mansion featured the late actress Joan Bennett and Falcon Crest‘s David Selby.

THE MYSTERY IS THE MESSAGE

Rihanna’s Cross Carving Enflames New Illuminati Rumors

By Linda Seccaspina

RIHANNA’S NEW SKIN CARVING HAS WAGS WONDERING ALOUD IF SHE’S part of the centuries-old secret society the Illuminati allegedly aimed at dominating the world.

Just above Rhianna’s left collarbone lies a fresh slanted cross tattoo, which according to legend is a symbol used among the Masons years ago.

OCCUPY THEATERS

Book’s Fans Ravenous For The Hunger Games Release

By Linda Seccaspina

THE MOST ANTICIPATED FILM OF THE YEAR The Hunger Games debuts March 23 and suffering from Twilight withdrawal, I cannot wait.

And I’ve got lots of company.

“The film has sold out over 1,000 showtimes,” Harry Medved of Fandango, the online box-office service, tells The Philadelphia Inquirer. “It’s among the top-selling titles on Fandango — ever.”

SO MUCH MAS

‘Shell’ Shocked Over Taco Bell’s New Menu Sensation

By Bob Bounce

THE SINGLE GREATEST DISH YOU HAVE EVER EATEN. It is the defining challenge for all great chefs: the perfect recipe. And not just “perfect,” but infallibly so. Perfect without question. Perfect with absolutely no doubt. None.

MILESTONES

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: You Can Eat Your Cake & Have It Too

By Karen Malmquist

THE DUST HAS SETTLED FROM CYNTHIA’S HOT MESS OF AN ANNIVERSARY PARTY, SO PHAEDRA DECIDES TO COOK UP HER OWN SWEATY GATHERING

The morning after sister Mal’s eye-roll-inducing hissy fit at Cynthia and Peter’s anniversary party, the couple try to figure out just what was going on with her. Mid-life crisis? Maybe. Drunk? Hopefully.

A TOAST TO A PUNCHLINE

Kiss Me I’m Drunk — Or An Irishman Who Can Take A Joke

By Linda Seccaspina

THE HIPSTER STORE URBAN OUTFITTERS IS once again in the headlines over a fashion faux pas, this time their new “green” designs. No, the new duds are not environmentally friendly — just a line of shirts and hats made especially for St. Patrick’s Day. One new tee scream: “Kiss me, I’m drunk, Irish, or whatever.” A trucker’s style hat depicting a figure down on all fours vomiting reads, “Irish Yoga.”

THE ROYAL EFFRONTERY

Camilla Ruffles Feathers By Wearing Princess Diana’s Jeweled Brooch

By Linda Seccaspina

SINCE CAMILLA, THE DUCHESS OF CORNWALL, HELPED HERSELF TO PRINCESS DIANA’S HUSBAND PRINCE CHARLES, IT’S NO SURPRISE THAT SHE’S raided the Princess’s jewelry box too.

Camilla attended the annual Cheltenham Festival’s Ladies Day event in her usual boring garb and added an ugly brown hat trimmed with fur. But it wasn’t her usual dowdy affect that Royal watchers were buzzing about but the brooch she was wearing: a “Prince Of Wales feathers pendant” identical to the one worn by the late Princess of Wales.