PLAY ACTING

Scout Willis Displays Her Cheeky Side In Amateur Production

By Elizabeth C.

SCOUT LARUE WILLIS makes her pop culture debut in a contrived production that shows off her cheeky side.

STAR QUALITY

Adele: Billboard’s Woman Of The Year

By Elizabeth C.

SHE DOESN’T NEED RAW MEAT DRESSES OR shocking pink tresses to command attention: All Adele has to do is open her mouth and roar raw emotion.

The 23-year-old British songstress has been stealing thunder all year long from pop music’s reigning princesses. And she’s done it without schlock gimmicks and on the merits of pure, irrepressible talent.

Today the singer made music history by becoming the first woman to top Billboard’s 200 Album chart for 21, the Hot 100 song chart for Rolling in the Deep and the Top Artists chart in the same year — culminating in Billboard naming her “Artist Of the Year.”

HE’S SPECIAL

Here’s A Feel-Good Story That Will Give You ‘Paws’

By Elizabeth C.

NOW HERE’S A STORY THAT WILL, AHEM, MAKE YOU “PAWS.”

Daniel, a polydactyl cat — that’s one with a congenital anomaly causing it to have extra toes — has become the inspiration for the Milwaukee Animal Rescue Center which is raising money for a new building to house its furry charges.

POINTLESS DEATHS, POINTLESS AUTHORITY

Welfare, Police Response Demand Investigating In Case Of Texas Mom Denied Foodstamps

By Elizabeth C.

TEXAN BUREAUCRATS OUGHT TO FEEL SATISFIED WITH THEMSELVES NOW THAT they’ll never have to dole out a couple of hundred bucks in food stamps to three indigent residents.

And Laredo cops, did you throw tear gas canisters inside the state welfare building in which a desperate mom was holed up with a gun and two children? Well, then, congratulations to you, too. Your clever handling of the matter pushed 38-year-old Rachelle Grimmer over the edge, leading her to shoot her 12-year-old daughter, 10-year-old son and to kill herself after a seven-hour standoff at the Texas Department of Health and Human Services. You solved the problem.

Update: The New York Times reports that no tear gas was used on the family. It’s a mystery why Grimmer’s 12-year-old daughter commented “tear gas seriasly” on her Facebook page.

IRONIC?

Villain Kris Humphries To Soon Be Chillin’ In His ‘Man Cave’

BY NOW KRIS HUMPHRIES must be looking for a hole to hide in, somewhere we can he dump his clothes on the floor without hearing his whiny neat freak of a wife complain. DIY Network is on the job!

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

70s Singer & Balladeer Dobie Gray Dies at 71

By Elizabeth C.

DOBIE GRAY’S SOUL IS FREE NOW.

Born Lawrence Darrow Brown into a family of sharecroppers in Texas, Gray gained fame with the popularity of his 1973 hit Drift Away, a soulful ballad that plumbed the ecstasies of getting lost in music.

Jay-Z Decoded: Georgetown University Offers Class On Jigga

By Shakenya Jackson

JIGGA MAN HAS JOINED AN ELITE ALUM OF RAPPERS with college courses devoted entirely to their work.

CASHING IN

Whack Wednesday: Amanda Knox, Amy Winehouse, Tom Cruise

By Miz J

LIKE EVERY RED-BLOODED AMERICAN WHO SPENDS MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES in a court of law, Amanda Knox is shopping for a book deal.

THE ROOT

Kanye Takes Jay-Z To His Chicago ‘Hood

By Shakenya Jackson

JAY-Z AND KANYE stepped down from their throne and frolicked near 77th and South Shore Drive in Yeezy’s hometown Chicago last week.

MONEY MATTERS

Don’t Be A Credit Piggy This Holiday; Spend Wisely

By Nancy Zimmerman

GENTLE READERS, DON’T BE SUCKERS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON. Create for yourself firm boundaries about your use of credit because the card companies are less inclined to do that for you.