BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT

Justin Bieber Will Gift His Special Sauce To Prove He’s No Baby Daddy

By Elizabeth C.

JUSTIN BIEBER IS GONNA MAKE AN EXAMPLE OUT OF MARIAH YEATER TO ALL THE LYING HOS who want to ride the tails of their wannabe celebrity boyfriends.

TMZ reports that Bieber will gift his special sauce to a DNA lab to prove that he didn’t father Yeater’s four-month-old son.

BULLSEYE

Pity Parties & A Lawsuit: Aftershocks In The Land Of Kardansia

By Karen Malmquist

OKAY, WE GET IT, KIM KARDASHIAN. You married for love. You got divorced because you fell out of love. All of this was not for the money. Okay.

Your mother even went as far as to return the wedding gift Joy Behar got you and your now ex (it was a blender!) on… The Joy Behar Show. To promote her new book, Kris Jenner and All Things Kardashian. Perfect timing, huh?

MONEY MATTERS

Bank Transfer Day: Time To Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

By Nancy Zimmerman

TODAY, Bank Transfer Day, exemplifies the wildfire reform that social media enables.

KA CHING

Meet Chicago’s Newest Billionaire: Groupon’s Andrew Mason

By Elizabeth C.

THAT’S MR. GOOFY ANDREW MASON FROM HERE ON OUT TO YOU, RUNTS.

Groupon’s wacky CEO Mr. Andrew Mason ascended to the Billionaires’ Club Friday with the online coupon’s IPO closing at $26.10, up 30 percent from its $20 initial offering. And, sorry ladies, he’s already taken.

MAKES THE WORLD GO ‘ROUND

Love Celebrity Style: Justin Bieber, Kris Humphries, Denise Richards

By Elizabeth C.

JUSTIN BIEBER DID. NOT. HAVE. SEX. WITH THAT WOMAN. Mariah Yeater. Kris Humphries has a message for his future ex-mother-in-law: he’s no Indian giver. And Denise Richards’ is back in Richie Sambora’s arms. Today’s Love Celebrity Style swears temporary allegiance.

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

Jersey Shore‘s Snooki Gets Serious (Cough, Cough) With GQ

By Elizabeth C.

GET LOST

Wanderlust Trailer Hits Promising A Fun Trip

THE FLICK THAT CONNECTED JENNIFER ANISTON WITH Justin Thereaux is set to hit the big screen in February, but the first sneak peak of Wanderlust hit the web Thursday and it looks promising.

ROCK AND HARD PLACE

Dr. Drew Pinsky Throws Lifeboat To Drowning Octomom (But What’s The Catch?)

By Elizabeth C.

THERE’S NO DIGNIFIED WAY OUT OF THE SPECTACLE THAT’S BECOME NADYA SULEMAN’S LIFE. Now drowning in debt and overwhelmed by the responsibility of parenting 14 children alone, the Octomom has become a freak show in the carnival that is American TV.

EYE SPIES

Trouble In Smushville? “Juicy” Joe Giudice Nabbed With “Hot Blonde”

By Karen Malmquist

THOUGH Teresa Giudice has vehemently denied that her husband Joe has cheated, it looks like Tre’s now got reason to believe the rumors. In Touch Weekly reported that Joe — or as Teresa so lovingly calls him “Juicy Joe” — was seen at a hotel with a “hot blonde” a few weeks ago.

WHACK WEDNESDAY

Some Esplaining To Do: Justin Bieber’s Cradle Robber, Kim Kardashian & McDonald’s McRib

By Miz J

OK, I’M NOT MAURY so take this with a grain of salt (and maybe a Walgreens DNA strip). The latest buzz claims that Justin Bieber, 17, knocked up a 19-year-old woman backstage at one of his shows.