FOREBODING HEADLINES

Is Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Kim Richards Getting Played?

By Trisha B.

IMAY BE SHOWING MY AGE, BUT WHEN I WAS 11, among kid stars, Kim Richards was the shit.

IRONIC

Did The Fitch Pinch The Sitch? Mike Sorrentino Says So & Sues

By Karen Malmquist

THE SITCH IS SUING THE FITCH!

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame is suing clothier Abercrombie & Fitch for illegally profiting off his name.

RIPPING OFF PRETENSE

Hollywood Hair-Raising: Ricky Gervais Is Back Hosting Golden Globes

By Elizabeth C.

THE HAIRS ON THE NECKS OF COLLECTIVE HOLLYWOOD are quaking: Ricky Gervais is back!

The comic who cuts just below the stratum corneum returns to host his third consecutive Golden Globes Awards on Jan. 15, 2012.

OUTLOOK NOT GOOD

Whack Wednesday: Kardashians Face Catastrophe, Kat Von D Repents & Don Draper Goes…Gray?

By Miz J

THE WORLD IS REVOLTING AGAINST ALL THINGS KARDASHIAN thanks to Kim’s over-the-top wedding and ridiculous express-lane divorce.

LUCKY

Death-Defying Dog Wins New Home & A Cause

By Elizabeth C.

HIS NAME IS DANIEL, BUT anyone in the right mind would call him lucky. That’s because this adorable beagle mix literally cheated death after surviving a gas chamber in an Alabama dog pound.

EVIL IN DISGUISE

Julia Roberts’s A Snarky Mean Queen In Mirror, Mirror

By Elizabeth C.

SHE WAS ONCE CONSIDERED THE FAIREST IN THE LAND, but Julia Roberts has never been revered for her acting chops.

DUDS

Life Celebrates Its Rare Moments Of Mediocrity

By Elizabeth C.

WHEN YOU’VE PROVEN YOURSELF A CULTURAL ICON, there’s no danger in making fun of your flaws.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BOYS

Love Celebrity Style: Brad Pitt, Kris Humphries, Justin Bieber

By Elizabeth C.

BRAD PITT DOESN’T KNOW, DOESN’T KNOW, DOESN’T KNOW IF HE’LL FATHER MORE BABIES. Kris Humphries has a case of the sads. And Justin Bieber is off the hook for Mariah Yeater’s baby. Wednesday’s gossip is overwrought with emotion.

THE CAPTAIN & COMMANDO

Will Harry & Pippa Do The Rumpy Pumpy? Some Brits Keep Fingers Crossed

By Elizabeth C.

THE C OF E AND ITS IS MINIONS ARE CHUFFED TO BITS about the possibility of Prince “Hot Ginge” Harry and Pippa Middleton, she of the Island’s most famous derriere, doing the rumpy pumpy together.

MONEY MATTERS

Credit: Andy Davey

Evidence Backs Americans’ Belief That System Is Rigged For Wealthy

By Nancy Zimmerman

SEVENTY-SIX PERCENT OF AMERICANS BELIEVE — 60 PERCENT OF THEM STRONGLY — that the country’s current financial and political structures favor the rich over the rest of the country, according to a November NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll.

Don’t blame that attitude on class envy; their belief is backed up by evidence.