SHARING POWER

Fox News Does Not Speak For These One Percenters

By Elizabeth C.

THESE ARE NOT THE ONE PERCENTERS from whom Fox News curries favor by demonizing the so-called “destructive, leftwing radical hippies” of Occupy Wall Street.

THE TROUBLE WITH MEATBALLS

Jersey Shore Finale: Unsentimental Journey

By Karen Malmquist

ONE LAST SPICY FLING THROUGH FLORENCE WITH OUR BELOVED MEATBALLS AND JUICEHEADS before they return to the Jersey shore.

CHEW ON THIS

Justice Scalia Upholds Ruling: Chicago-Style Pizza Is “Tomato Pie”

By Elizabeth C.

U.S. JUSTICE ANTONIN SCALIA is constitutionally opposed to calling deep-dished Chicago-style pizza anything but “tomato pie.”

OBVIOUS

Late-Breaking Research: Public Bathrooms Are Germy

Staff

JUST IN CASE YOU WERE PLANNING ON PICNICKING INSIDE ONE, A NEW STUDY confirms what you already knew: public bathrooms are crawling with germs.

LiLo Sentenced To Death, Gwen Stefani Dresses The Down Market & Xtina Zinged For Her Weight

By Miz J

ANOTHER COMMAND PERFORMANCE FOR Lindsay Lohan, aka LiLo, aka Blohan, who was ordered back to jail for violating her probation. She’s expected to post $100,000 bail by tonight.

A WASTE OF MAGESTY

Outrage Over Slaughter Of Animals Let Loose In Ohio

By Elizabeth C.

“THUGS WITH ASSAULT RIFLES,’ IS HOW ONE COMMENTER AT THE Columbus Dispatch characterized the decision to “shoot-to-kill” about 48 wild animals released from their cages by their owner before he committed suicide.

UPDATE: The actual number of animals released was 56;49 were killed by sheriffs’ deputies; six were tranquilized and transported to the Columbus Zoo; one, a monkey, has not been recaptured.

FOLLY

For $75K, The Rich Can Bag This Pink Yurt In The Blink Of An Eye

PROVING THERE IS SUCH A THING AS HAVING TOO MUCH MONEY, THIS YEAR’S Neiman Marcus Christmas Book offers up a $75,000 pink yurt — which is just a fancy way of saying tent — bedecked in lush I Dream Of Jeannie style.

FOR SALE

Ashton Kutcher: User?

By Elizabeth C.

OF ALL THE SNARK over Ashton Kutcher’s costly one-night stand with Sara Leal, the most revealing comment I’ve read comes from Tom A. over at TheDirty:

DIRTY PLAY

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Cracked

By Trisha B.

AT GAME NIGHT, BRANDI’S CALLING A TIMEOUT.

When Kyle brings up her kid “whipping out his penis at a party and peeing on the grass,” again, Brandi goes ballistic, throws some F-bombs and shouts “stop insulting my kid and my parenting skills!”

MONEY MATTERS

America’s Radical New Zeitgeist: Debt Enslaves Us

By Nancy Zimmerman

DEBT IS UBIQUITIOUS.

The U.S. goes deeper in debt $3.97B every day on average. This means the U.S. owes nearly $662,350 per American household.