FAKE

Konfirmed: Kim + Kris = Krazy

By Elizabeth C.

WELL, THAT WAS QUICK. Married for 72 days. But what else can you expect when your love is consummated in surreality TVland?

So many questions for so short a union:

SHOWDOWN

Occupy Oakland Calls For Citywide General Strike Nov. 2

By Elizabeth C.

ABOVE IS AN AWESOME POSTER FROM OCCUPY WALL STREET PROMOTING a citywide strike by students and workers in Oakland, Calif. for Wednesday, November 2.

MISSING PIECES

Mona Simpson’s Eulogy: The Steve Jobs We Didn’t Know

By Elizabeth C.

YOU DON’T MALIGN THE DEAD AT THEIR FUNERAL. So it’s tempting to discount Mona Simpson’s touching eulogy of her brother Steve Jobs as romance.

DAUGHTER DEAREST

Elisabetta Canalis Slaps George Clooney With Backhanded Compliment

By Elizabeth C.

OUCH, THAT HURTS! Elisabetta Canalis pays ex-love George Clooney a cutting compliment — calling him a “father” figure in the new book Questo Amore (This Love), by Italian journalist Bruno Vespa.

A BLOODY GOOD TIME

Halloween Is Killer

CREEPTASTIC FUN’S IN STORE FOR THE Halloween weekend both literally and figuratively.

Procrastinating partiers descended on Party City on Western Avenue in Chicago to execute their Halloween costume fantasies. Here are some gruesome options for the more macabre among us.

BOO

This Is Halloween: A $6.9 Billion Industry

By Elizabeth C.

AND SO WE ARRIVE AT THE ONE WEEKEND OF THE YEAR when murderers and witches, freaks and creeps, are welcome to roam indiscriminately. Thank god there’s a surge in patrolling superheroes too.

Does Bruce Willis’ Baby News Compound Demi Moore’s Woes?

By Elizabeth C.

OUR HEARTS GO OUT TO DEMI MOORE AFTER HEARING that ex-hubby Bruce Willis will become a father for the fourth time at age 56.

Willis and his 35-year-old wife Emma Heming Willis will welcome their first child early next year. The couple have been married two years.e

SOCIAL SCIENCE

New Studies On The Ignoble Traits Of Narcissists & Psychopaths

By Elizabeth C.

IN THE NEWS, TWO STUDIES ABOUT THE IGNOBLE TRAITS OF PSYCHOPATHS AND NARCISSISTS.

WHACK WEDNESDAY

Jessica Simpson Is Preggers & Nobody Cares, Jennifer Hudson Rethinks Marriage & Lindsay Lohan Spreads ‘Em For A Million

By Miz J

HERE’S A POP (STAR) QUIZ: What’s funnier than Jessica Simpson pretending she’s not obviously, heavily pregnant?

‘NOT GETTING ALONG’

Kim & Kris Soon Kaput?

SINCE NOTHING, WE REPEAT, NOTHING ABOUT THE KARDASHIAN-HUMPHRIES affair can be construed as authentic, we advise you to take the latest whispers with a grain of salt too. Not that that’ll stop us from repeating them!