SHOOT ‘EM!

What’s A Few Ruffled Feathers Between Friends? Rovio Negotiating Deal With Chinese That Created Angry Birds Theme Park

Staff

IF IMITATION IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF FLATTERY, MAKERS OF the ANGRY BIRDS are touched — as in feeling their pockets lighter — by the actions of a Chinese theme park.

NOW HEAR THIS

Saddest Looking Hound Has World’s Longest Dog Ears

Staff

LET’S SING PRAISE TWICE IN THIS STORY: First to Harbor, an 8-year-old coonhound that has the world’s longest dog ears. Then secondly to Guinness World Records for keeping track of such oddities.

Poor Harbor. Look at him up there, his sad eyes recognizing that he’s a freak show.

SIDESHOWS

Whack Wednesday!

Madonna’s A Crank, Gumby’s A Clumsy Crook & Monica Lewinsky’s A Reputation-Stained Dreamer

Staff

GUMBY’S A CLUMSY CROOK, MADONNA’S INCREASINGLY SOUNDS like the neighborhood crank, and Monica Lewinsky improbably considers a PR career. Welcome to Whack Wednesday.

UNGUARDED

Quicksilver Beautiful: Lady Gaga On Bazaar

Staff

ON A TYPICAL RANDOM DAY, ARTIFICE BY ANOTHER NAME WOULD ANSWER TO GAGA. But the celebrity chameleon takes her most fascinating turn to date on the cover September’s Bazaar where she appears shockingly beautiful sans paint or costume.

HATER HATES

Caught On Tape! Madonna’s Contempt For Hydrangeas — And Fans

Staff

FILE UNDER ‘DUH: MADONNA, POP DIVA AND AUTHOR OF The English Roses, has thorns.

A haughty, self-important and loathsome Madonna was caught on video barely making eye contact with a fan who presented her with a large purple hydrangea at the Venice Film Festival.

TAKE TWO

It’s A Doggy Dog World: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Karen Malmquist

LIFE’S LESS THAN GLAMOROUS FOR THE Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills at the moment. Just two weeks after the death of Taylor Armstrong’s estranged husband Russell, the Housewives sans Taylor meet up the discuss Russell’s suicide. For the moment, the ladies put their personal issues aside to figure out how best way they can be there for Taylor.

SUSPICIOUS FINDINGS

Famed Forensics Doc: Rebecca Zahau’s Autopsy Evidence Doesn’t Add Up to Suicide

By Elizabeth C.

THERE’S SOMETHING HARD TO SWALLOW ABOUT A WOMAN HANGING HERSELF AFTER BOUNDING HER OWN HANDS AND FEET. SO you can forgive conspiracy theorists who think San Diego cops were paid off by the pharmaceuticals entrepreneur whose girlfriend died inside his million dollar mansion.

A ‘CAPTIVE-ATING’ SUBJECT

Monkeying Around With Money In The Laboratory

By Nancy Zimmerman

FUNNY, YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE A MONKEY, AND YET…

Research led by Yale psychologist Lori Santos finds that capuchins monkeys unnervingly mimic humans in how we use and spend money. To wit:

PROCESSING GRIEF

Suicide As Story Arc: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Trisha B.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

Funereal music plays as the Housewives sans Taylor gather at Adrienne Maloof’s mansion. Lisa VanderCamp walks across the street from her mansion, holding hands with husband Ken.

SNAP

Celebrity Baby Sightings: Harper Seven Beckham, Willow Hart

Staff

PEEKABOO!

The beautifuls Victoria and David Beckham, and Pink & Carey Hart were spotted out by X-17Online paps with their new wee ones. And though I personally share the philosophy that France’s First Lady Carla Bruni promises to practice with her as-yet unborn baby (her child will NOT be exploited in the media, thank you very much), I won’t begrude the Beckhams and Harts for traveling with babes in tow while going about their business. In fact, once I turn off my internal “child as product placement” alarm, I’m as quick as a Duggar to exclaim, “A baby! How exciting!”