SECOND TAKE

Keep Your Frenemies Closer: A Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap

By Trisha B.

THIS WEEK’S IT’S ONE BIG PROBLEM as Adrienne agonizes over moving her basketball team, and one little problem as Kyle goes bubble-headed over a fundraiser.

SHORTCHANGED?

Groupon Employees To World: Company Is No Great Deal

By Elizabeth C.

WORD IS THAT THE YUKYUKS ARE BECOMING RARE INSIDE GROUPON’S CHICAGO HEADQUARTERS as employees begin to wonder if they’ve been discounted.

NOTHING’S SECRET

The Real Wives Of Beverly Hills: Wounds Visible & Unseen

By Karen Malmquist

NOW THAT TAYLOR HAS PULLED HERSELF OUT OF THE SUITCASE, LET’S RETURN TO THE DRAMA SURROUNDING Kim’s confusion over attending the Sacramento Kings basketball game.

Adrienne and Paul are co-owners of the troubled basketball team, which may be moving to a different city. The couple is now waiting in the private jet, and Kim still sounds like a mess. Once she arrives, she’s slurring her words a little bit, and blaming her tardiness on the power going out on her block.

PANTOMIMING REPORTING

Photo Credit: davidscameracraft.blogspot.com

The NYTs Reports On Occupy Wall Street With Faulty Aim

By Elizabeth C.

THE LAUDED NEW YORK TIMES RAN A SNEERING PIECE ON THE PROTESTERS OF OCCUPY WALL STREET headlined “Gunning for Wall Street, With Faulty Aim.” In doing so, the paper of record proves to have pathetic aim in its own right.

A SUGGESTION?

Should Blacks Answer Obama’s Call To March By Joining ‘Occupy Wall Street’?

By Elizabeth C.

IN A ROUSING SPEECH delivered at the 41st Congressional Black Caucus Foundation’s Annual Legislative Conference, President Obama urged African Americans to keep the faith as African Americans struggle against a 17 percent unemployment rate and 40 percent poverty rate for their children.

WONDER BOY

The Latest Entry In Justin Bieber’s Timeline: Brangelina 2.0

By Elizabeth C.

DOES JUSTIN BIEBER HAVE A PRIVATE THOUGHT?

STARCROSSED

The Grinch Of Smushville: A Jersey Shore Recap

By Karen Malmquist

WE RETURN TO SNOOKI getting thrown into a cop car after crashing into them with Deena. I would say “Poor Snooks” but as of season three, it’s not Jersey Shore unless Snooki gets in trouble with the law. The guys all come to the scene of the crime to take Snooki home, and thankfully, she’s not actually arrested. She’s just got a boatload of fines. Who could ever cuff Snooki?

WINK

Sesame Street Spoofs Glee With The Letter “G”

By Elizabeth C.

THE WIZARDS AT SESAME STREET HAVE reshaped Glee’s self-absorbed high schoolers into the “G” club with all the same ticks and tempests as the TV characters.

WIFE SWAPPING

Love Celebrity Style: Todd & Sarah Palin, Michaele Salahi & Steve Tyler, Ted Haggard & Gary Buse

By Elizabeth C.

TODD PALIN WANTS TO DUMP THE TEA PARTY’S MRS. PALIN. Michaele Salahi played hide and seek with Steve Tyler at an Aerosmith concert five years ago. And team-switching evangelical minister Ted Haggard has signed up for a stint on Celebrity Wife Swap. Thursday’s gossip cheats.

‘DRAMA’ CAMP

Revenge: A Superior Concentration Of Toxic Phony

By Miz J

OOH, DEEP. WE’RE STARTING OFF WITH A CONFUCIUS QUOTE: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Confucius also say that a man who stands on the toilet is high on pot. But I digress.

Our narrator opens with:

When I was a little girl, my understanding of revenge was as simple as the Sunday school proverbs it hid behind. Neat little morality slogans like, “Do unto others” and “Two wrongs don’t make a right. But two wrongs can never make a right. Two wrongs can never equal each other.”