THE DEAL IS DONE

Encore! Steve Tyler, Jennifer Lopez & Randy Jackson Will Return As American Idol Judges

Staff

THE VOTES HAVE BEEN CAST AND THE WINNERS ARE IN: ALL THREE JUDGES FROM LAST YEAR’S AMERICAN IDOL WILL RETURN TO THE HITMAKING TV SHOW FOR ITS 11TH SEASON.

THE SEARCH FOR MEANING

Bert & Ernie & The Stories We Tell Ourselves

By Elizabeth C.

HALF THE FUN OF WATCHING TV IS SEARCHING FOR THE UNSPOKEN METAPHOR OR MEANING.

For instance, who among us hasn’t heard the theory that Scooby and Shaggy are potheads who keep their toking on the lowdown but can’t disguise the inevitable hungering results?

WHAT’S HER PROBLEM?

Kelly Killoren Bensimon: A Riddle Wrapped In An Enigma Shrouded In Crazy

By Trisha B.

I ADMIT I’VE BEEN HARD ON KELLY KILLORAN BENSIMON.

At first it was because she was such a bitch to Bethenny. So uncalled for.

PARSING DIFFERENCES

The Real Housewives Franchises: Unhappy In Their Own Ways

By Karen Malmquist

SEASON AFTER SEASON, city to city, Bravo has given humankind a reason to laugh at our conceits and deceits: The Real Housewives franchise.

Over the years, New Jersey, New York City, Orange County, and Atlanta have given us a look at the best players their cities have to offer. And while each series couldn’t be more different from the other, there are two traits that bind the shows’ together: all of the women seem insane, and at least one of them fancies herself a singer.

LOCKED IN TIME

He Took The Picture, But The Kiss Belongs To Her: Mystery Woman Snapped French Kissing Elvis Revealed

By Elizabeth C.

WHO WAS THE MYSTERY BLONDE CAUGHT FRENCH-KISSING ELVIS IN A 1956 PHOTOGRAPH? THAT enduring mystery has finally been solved by Vanity Fair‘s Alanna Nash, who reveals 75-year-old Barbara Gray to be the busser.

IN THE MOMENT

So You Couldn’t Be There: Lollapalooza 2011 In Pics

Staff

SO YOU MISSED THE Lollapalooza party. We feel for you.

The nation’s premier music fest — hosted for the seventh straight year in Chicago — was a thrilling, teeming, throbbing, smelly dance party, an overdose of hormones and hot riffs, and one giant muddy mess following a torrential downpour Sunday evening.

Sounds like fun, amirite?

As usual, this year’s fest has generated massive ink about the critical success of the performances. And since, I got to admit, I didn’t make it there myself (My significant other was there feigning tech support for one of the acts), I’ve combed Flickr for the best pics of the festival I could find. Let me know what you think. And maybe we’ll make it next year!

The Best Pics From Lollapalooza 2011 — So Far

HARPIES

Resolutely Disagreeable: A Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap

By Karen Malmquist

CHRISTMAS IS FINALLY PAST for The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and it’s now time for the ladies to ring in the New Year. The Manzos are getting ready to throw the annual New Year’s Eve bash at the Brownstone, and there will be no fighting, under any circumstances. Of course, with all the families being invited to the event, anything can happen. And by anything, I mean even the biggest Teresa fans may side with Melissa and Kathy after this episode.

SCRUMPTIOUS

Harper Beckham Snuggles With Daddy In New Twitter Pic

By Elizabeth C.

ONCE AGAIN David and Victoria Beckham are sharing their joy over newborn baby smell on Twitter.

The famously fashionable Mrs. Beckham tweeted her second picture of her angelic baby girl Harper staring straight into the camera with her head on her daddy’s chest.

IN THE LOLLA ZONE

The Best Pictures From Lollapalooza 2011 — So Far

Staff

A REVELER GETS CARRIED AWAY DURING LOLLAPALOOZA 2011, BUT THAT WAS THE POINT.

The music festival arrived with a bang Friday in Chicago’s riverfront Grant Park, which hosted a sold-out crowd of 90,000. The first day of the three-day festival brought out young and old, freaks and geeks, and anybody who wanted to be part of the happening.

GO FISH

Fishy Matters Stinking Up The News

Attempted Murder By Puffer Fish? A Chocolate Addict With Fins? Is There A UFO Crashed At The Bottom of the Sea?

By Elizabeth C.

THERE WAS A WHIFF OF FISHY IN THIS WEEK’S ODDEST NEWS: