By Karen Malmquist
AS IF LEGITIMATE CRAZY PERSON TERESA GIUDICE ISN’T ENOUGH, Bravo has offered Danielle Staub a contract to appear in upcoming episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey. So would she be contractually obligated to come in and scowl and feel attacked again, or have the cameras magically captured one of the housewives trying to kill her again?
The former stripper and current (maybe?) singer is apparently being brought in to help stir things up on the show, which has been running heavy with nothing but family drama. According to an InTouch source, “The producers squeezed all the juice they could from the Giudices-versus-Gorgas story line and had to think of a fresh outlet for drama.”
Season five is already underway, filming the women as they deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. The emotional stress of the storm must be helping dueling sisters-in-law Melissa Gorga and Teresa realize how important family is, which is the opposite of good reality television.
So the mushy stuff isn’t cutting it, but how will Danielle fit into the new cast dynamic? When she left at the end of season two, she didn’t have a single friend in the group, and she had been cut out of everyone’s lives by Caroline Manzo. If she comes back, it’ll have to be because she secretly moved into Jacqueline’s house without her knowing it or something, because no one would voluntarily interact with her again.
What we can look forward to if she comes back is the physical altercations that are bound to happen with Teresa. We’ve had Teresa flip a dinner table over at her, Ashlee yank her weave out, Caroline almost lunging at her during reunions and calling her “garbage”… Ahh, those were the days! If we pray hard enough, maybe Kathy will raise her voice and point a finger at Danielle. I’m getting chills just thinking about it!
Karen Malmquist is a senior at La Salle University, and is a member of the Overpopulated Peninsula comedy troupe. You can follow her on Twitter @KarenSays.