Britney, We Thank Thee

ONCE again Britney shows her rosy rump cheeks. In his bid to get full custody, Fed-Ex’s acolytes claim he’s motivated by his young sons’ wellbeing and not by Brit’s residuals. A Republican Senator is outed as hypocrite after educating a nation on the nuances of soliciting gay sex in public bathrooms. And now the nation’s number one Cowboy Bush seeks to protect the very communication companies that enabled his rough riding over Americans’ civil rights post 9/11. (Quick, someone search donations to the RNC!)

Welcome to CrabbyGoLightly! Where power and celebrity are viewed between slitted eyes. Where the naive are encouraged to embrace the dark truth: not everything you read is true and photos do too lie. Didn’t your mother teach you anything? In her own raw WAY WE HAVE TO THANK Britney for keeping things real. Hers is not a derriere that has been shaped by hours spent on the Stairmaster. Despite her codependence on the paparazzi, her in-your-face panty-less shenanigans remind us all she’s only human. Because of her, the liposuction-less among us can walk more safely. Thanks for that Britney.