OPEN SECRETS
Brad Pitt & Angelina Have A Google Privacy Problem
BRAD PITT AND HIS LONGTIME LOVE ANGELINA JOLIE have a mutual understanding when it comes to their kids’ cyber education: the famous parents of Maddox, Zahara , Shiloh, Pax, Knox and Vivienne told the German Magazine Bild that they’ve blocked their names on Google.
“On all the kids’ computers we had our names blocked,” the Moneyball Best Actor Oscar contender said. “”They can’t Google their mom and dad.” Nor does he Google himself: “I don’t want to make myself dependent on what other people think.”
Give me a break! One day soon, Brad, those children of yours will no longer be kids and they are going to be ‘Tomb Raiding’ some real hot information about their Mom. Do you honestly think they will never walk by an internet café in a few years unsupervised? Do you honestly think your kids are that dumb? I can guarantee you they are not only playing ‘Angry Birds’ on their friend’s computers.
Of course, no parent wants their child to see Mommy or Daddy kissing some stranger in a movie or on some magazine cover. But the Pitt-Jolies are going to get a real eyeful about Mommy some day and there won’t be a darn thing you or Google cache can do about it.
Brad, there’s not much dirt to dig on you except being an adulterer who cheated on your then-wife Jennifer Anniston and that wayward rumor about the alleged occasional roll in the hay with the supporting actress Bella Heathcote last year.
But what about Mommy? Well, where do we start?
1). Jolie lost her virginity at 14 because it seemed to be burning a hole in her pocket.
2. Her role as supermodel Gia Carangi in the film Gia seems a tad too close to the bisexual, promiscuous, druggie early life of Jolie herself.
3. Horrifying the nation by kissing her brother James on camera. Is it because James resembles her and she enjoys the sheer narcissism of kissing herself?
4.Jolie becomes the fifth Mrs. Billy Bob Thornton in 1999. The couple wear matching vials of each other’s blood around their necks.
5. Her smack talk about her once-estranged father Jon Voight like a Girl Interrupted.
At 16, she beds her mother’s boyfriend and a few years later reportedly has an affair with Uma Thurman’s then-husband Ethan Hawke.
I do believe that Pitt is honestly afraid that his children will see their mother as a self-absorbed, manipulative, husband-stealing, adopting children for publicity hound bitch! But Brad the truth will eventually come out and your children will look at you one day and say, “Dad, Mom is really the “Pitts!”
Linda Seccaspina loves snark and scandal and can’t wait for Beyoncé to get busted for faking her pregnancy. She writes regularly for the dating site Zoomers. Follow her on Twitter @@Mcpheeeeee.
