Curses! Sorcerers' 'Shrinking Penises' Cause Men to Flee With Cupped Crotches
WOULD A POCKET VOODOO DOLL HOLD THE SAME POWER?
In breaking news from Congo, police have detained 13 "sorcerers" accused of using magic to steal or shrink men's penises.
""It's real,'' Alain Kalala, 29, told Reuters. "...We saw. What was left was tiny." Crabby is shuddering.
Reports of "penis theft began circulating" last week in the Congo capital of Kinshasa. At least 14 "victims" have told police that sorcerers touched them to "make their genitals shrink or disappear" in efforts to extort money for a cure. The rumor has threatened an outbreak of violence.
"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," said Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, Kinshasa's police chief. "But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. ...I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it?'"
Police have round up the accused sorcerers and victims to avoid the type of bloodshed that broke out in Ghana a decade ago, when "penis snatchers" were beaten to death by angry mobs.
Hunger? Corruption? Crime? Ho-hum news from Africa. But threaten to shrink a man's penis and the Western world takes notice.
Crabby wonders if this trick would work in the U.S. using miniature fabric dolls and stick pins. Perhaps then we could neuter violent offenders, sociopaths and run-of-the-mill cads with a touch. We could call it the "shrinking cure."
Posted April 24, 2008
Home
