Coming Soon Underneath Harpo Studio Chairs: The Miniature Oprah Deity
CELEBRITY GOSSIPS ARE BETTING THAT
AMERICA'S FIRST LADY OF TV, OPRAH, won't cotton to the "Oprah Sarcophagus" created by artist Daniel Edwards, a native of LaPorte, Indiana, where the Big "O" once owned property.
But Crabby thinks they underestimate the world's favorite faux goddess's smug delight at being
compared to a deity. On the contrary, I think it won't be long before Edwards is invited on The
Oprah Winfrey Show to discuss the social significance of his sculptures depicting celebrities or their poop
in bronze. Among his creations: A sculpture of Britney Spears in labor, a "bust" of Hillary
Clinton, and a dead Paris Hilton as public service announcement. There's also the
highly-anticipated form
of Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro dead on his back, feet pointing skyward to the heavens,
which is scheduled for its public unveiling in New York in April.
Some observers think Edwards' "Sarcophagus" bears little likeness to the flesh and blood O, but
in my opinion the mold eerily captures her godlike countenance, and I'm predicting that the
barely human side of O will agree. In fact, I'll bet you that Harpo's next big distribution deal
provides for 18 inch replicas of the statue, made with tiny alarms inside set to ring moments
before TOWS appears on local televisions, but with just enough time for viewers to genuflect
toward the screen in a moment of silence. I can picture it now: Surprise! Everybody in the
studio audience gets to take home a miniature version of their false idol. Just look under your
seat for the prize.
Posted January 31, 2008
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